I proclaim this to be the summer of Lee.
That is, this last year has been lovely but felt so unstable and in flux and on the way there but not there, and I thought I'd be somewhere that I'm still on the way to, and I never make time for the projects I say I want to work on and I never blog anymore and haven't revolutionized my industry, and how am I 24 in 3 weeks and I still haven't written a novel?
It must be delusions of grandeur, because I was sure by now I would be this accomplished superhero rather than this normal almost 24-year-old still getting it together. How long can you really get it together for?
My friend Elaine says my heart is always in the right place, but 10 steps ahead of my head, and that is how I end up overextending myself, getting stressed out and being hard on myself. Not untrue. Okay. Very true.
Last spring I turned my life around from broken elbow and unsatisfying social life to awesome in the matter of a month. Maybe it's something about summer.
Life is really good, even in addition to the whole living every 13-year-old girl's dream of riding public transportation to my job at an advertising agency in the City, attending numerous social events and dating someone great.
My new apartment makes me happy on a regular basis. I love walking up the hills to it, I love walking up the three flights of stairs with my legs burning and seeing the bridge and downtown and the bay at the top, and I love having space to stretch out. My roommate is super cool. She is five years older. I am lucky she picked me. I feel like I won the lottery.
I feel like I can't waste my situation in decadent relaxation, casual work, excessive drinking and idle chitchat. I need to earn and deserve it by working really hard, being inspiringly creative and intensely productive and generally become an amazing person. After my vacation, I guess. If nothing else, this is a great place to gorge myself with scenery and luxury and indulgent enjoyment. I could be really good at that.
Monday, June 25, 2007
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